I’m Embarrassed I Failed The Bar Exam! What Should I Do?
I’m Embarrassed I Failed The Bar Exam! What Should I Do?
I’m Embarrassed I Failed The Bar Exam! What Should I Do?: With the many feelings that come with failing the bar exam, one of the main ones you may be feeling is embarrassed. Even though you know you should not be embarrassed for failing the bar exam you cannot seem to help the feeling from creeping back in. Especially when your coworkers, friends, and family may not be making it any better. The last thing you want to hear is someone telling you not to be embarrassed. You obviously know that. So, here are some things you can do to counter the embarrassment.
I’m Embarrassed I Failed The Bar Exam! What Should I Do?
1. Do not worry about other people.
Embarrassment stems from the belief that what you did was not socially acceptable. Whether it is having your fly down, calling a teacher mom as a kid, or failing the bar exam, your embarrassment stems from what you think other people are thinking about you. Maybe you think they are judging you for not passing, or maybe even pitying you.
The embarrassment you feel from failing the bar can make social situations particularly strained. If the bar exam comes up, conversations may get awkward and your embarrassment might creep in. Conversations can also be full or unsolicited advice or unwelcome comforting, which only adds to your embarrassment. One thing you can do to help diminish your embarrassment is doing your best to not to worry about what other people think. Most importantly, do not feel like you have to make anyone comfortable with you failing.
The sooner you care less about what other people say, think, or act near you, the less embarrassed you will feel. This is easier said than done. Just know that the people around you are coming to grips with you failing in their own ways. That is not your problem. Focus on yourself and coming to terms with failing the bar yourself. The less you care about the opinions of others, the sooner you will overcome the embarrassment you know you should not be feeling. You are not responsible for managing the feelings of others about you failing the bar exam. Focus on yourself!
2. The bar exam is not a measure of your worth
The bar exam does not test how successful you are or how successful you will be. It also does not test your worth as a person. It tests how much law you can memorize and regurgitate in a time crunch.
Failing the bar exam does not mean you are a failure yourself. Failing the bar exam does not affect your future career as a lawyer. Many successful lawyers failed the bar exam, and all of them probably thought “I’m so embarrassed I failed the bar exam!” But they didn’t give up! Once you pass (and you will pass), no one will know, or care, that you failed the bar exam. Failing the bar is not the end of your career. Your career has not even started yet!
3. Distract yourself with studying.
Whenever you start thinking “I’m embarrassed I failed the bar exam”, distract yourself by throwing that energy into studying. Channel negative energy into a desire to overcome this obstacle. Studying for the bar takes up your time in such a way that you do not have time to even feel embarrassed.
Not everyone is nice when it comes to you failing the bar. There may be some people who manage to make you feel embarrassed no matter what. Channel the embarrassment you feel into studying to retake the bar exam.
The more effort you put into studying, the better. Before you know it, this will be behind you!
4. Take care of yourself.
Failing the bar and studying to take it all over again is a stressful ordeal. Even if you try not to care about what other people think and focus on studying, the embarrassment may still creep in. Sometimes you cannot help but feel embarrassed. Feeling embarrassed may lead you to feeling down about yourself.
Do not forget to take care of yourself. If you feel down, speak to people you can rely on or just take time to do stuff that makes you happy. Studying for the bar again is hard, but you will get through it. Just like the first time around, it is still important to make sure you take care of yourself physically and mentally.
If you find yourself unable to get rid of your embarrassment, then avoid the social situations where you feel the most embarrassed. While you study to take the bar again you have the perfect reason to avoid situations in which make you feel more embarrassed. You do not have to go to parties celebrating your friends who passed the bar. You do not have to go home and visit your family. If you know these situations will be more painful than helpful, avoid them for now.
But if you know spending time with some people will help, then spend time with them! If you have people that make you feel better when you spend time with them and not embarrassed, that is great. Take care of yourself while you study again and good luck!
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